Ohhhhh my God this essay is fantastic.
As part of the South Park wiki’s Eric Cartman page, someone has kindly compiled every crime Cartman has committed. http://southpark.wikia.com/wiki/Eric_Cartman
Why would I ever ‘ship Eric Cartman with anyone? Jesus Christ, the kid is a sociopath. I recently read a great ‘fic about him and Kyle which actually got shmoopy and now I’m watching the series and wondering why I condone this LOL